Hello everyone! This is a battle for the second installment of Dexter's video game tourney. In this battle, Assassin's Creed's Ezio Auditore, battles Grand Theft Auto assailant, Niko Bellic.
"I think I got on the wrong plane..." says Niko Bellic, sitting in an airliner. "Packie said we were going to Los Santos, that cheap bastard got me tickets to fuckin' FLORENCE?" he yells to himself as he looks at his plane ticket. "After all my hard work in saving his ass and doing that heist he blows me off like this. Fuck me..." the Serbian trails off as he nods to sleep.
Niko awakes in the city of Florence, resting on the ground. As he stirs, he asks himself, "How the hell did I get off the plane?". He looks around the foggy Italian city, knowing something's not quite right. "Why does everything look so... old?". He then sees a mysterious figure descend from a building. The figure disappears. Niko keeps his eye on the building, "Hello?!". He then hears something behind him, and turns around with a fist. He pushes away a man in red and white robes with a knife in his hand. "Who the fuck are you?!" Niko asks the man, pulling a pistol out of his jacket.
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
"Only your worst nightmare."
"You got to be fucking kidding me."
Say what you have to, Niko Bellic, for it will not effect me!
Don't GT-Hate! Let me assassinate by dissing you directly!
The art of killing is precision! Not blowing things up like a normal Russian!
But step to me, cab-driver, I'll send ya home with a concussion!
Fottiti! You titty obsessed loser who doesn't live a day,
without beer, women, blood money, and an ash-tray!
You think of your City as Liberty? I'd like to see you handle Monteriggioni!
So I can murder you, and go bowling with your coglioni!
Whoa, you should take it easy, yo, what's that name? Ezio?
Are you kidding me? I can fuck you up and kill you like a sleazy hoe
To get back my fifty dollars, I'll just (gouranja) and run you over.
I won game of the year in '08, you just sit in the corner.
And I don't need a Brotherhood or parkour to slay this asshole in robes,
That's a knife you have? Go ahead and stab me while I aim down this scope,
You're entire foundation of Italian Assassins'll go down by the dozen,
Use your head as a ball for my cousin, what did you say? No, I'M NOT RUSSIAN!
Ma Che Cazzo! You obviously have had no experience in rhyming!
When I can spit words that hit with power, precision, and perfect timing!
You urk me, like all your friends! Oh, how i wouldn't wanna be ya!
That puttona Bitch-elle, and Roman, who's addicted to whore's figas!
There are people who need to die today! But I've narrowed down the list!
to one person, and that person, is this big, fat SHIT!
I don't think you're battle rapping! I just think you're trying to bore me!
Well, it's over! Requiscat in Pace! From Ezio Auditore!
You amuse me, I killed grown men as a soldier in my teens, killed a betrayer in my fleet
See, I was in the military, but you're annoying ass is the only thing to give me PTSD,
You got a knife in your pocket? I'd like to see that in my eye socket,
But before that happens, you'll have to avioid Little Jacob's fucking rocket!
You were born in the 1450's, there's so little you mean to me,
I can crush you like a bug, it's fitting, you fucked up worst than Dmitri!
And I liked Altair better, but it's time for you to die from your heart,
Liberty City, the battle's not over 'til the leaving of the Rockstar.